Should I give in to physicality alone when ‘choosing’ a girlfriend ? Should I give in? Can I even tell physicality and that which pertains to the mind apart? Silly me. It is a clouded feeling but somehow results in a  seemingly clear decision. I have to try. I do believe that I will know poison when I see it. I do believe that I can transcend social barriers to prevent a breach of morality. I have to believe. I  am human. Slave to the flesh. Interestingly a willing one.

I had forgotten about the relief and clarity that writing provides. It is a soothing salve to the tear that is threatening to bleed everything out of me. Feels as if my heart is trying to cringe into its center (doesn’t it know it can’t really do that?). weird. Not all is bad. I do feel smarter, more alert, less withdrawed (at ‘critical’ times). All-nighters are a disease.  ugh there is no flow. just a collection of stagnated thoughts.  

Anxious runaway trains of  thoughts finally meet and crashed catastrophically. Emptiness of life, cruelty of death and the apparent lack of concern about them. Fear. I have to read more. My thoughts have long since stagnated.  

starting is always awkward. For most things, anything associated with starts are probably ephemeral in existence. I can’t remember why i started to type this post. It probably has to do with my absence of understanding of the functionalities and processes of the Brain. I am going to start capitalising first letters of words that tie in concepts from various intellectual pursuits with differing magnification levels. I think I make sense. 

What do I actually write about. I could simulate a pen friend relationship thing. Though I wouldn’t be successful in formulating and being another entity of personality. I have limited understanding of psychology, the actual circumstances  imposed by the world. I don’t know the function (can it be defined as one?) or its inputs. Does eloquence matter? i don’t think the word eloquence is eloquent. What the fuck is the ‘qua’ doing in the middle. elowen is probably a better form. I think I should analyse rap flow and apply any insights in writing. It is intimately related but I think that rap would probably be easier to analyse because of the juxtaposition of type of flows even when discussing similar content/contentions ; they also tend to be short. I guess short stories would fit some of this criteria and would cover a wider variety of content. Rap seems to be one of the most restricted pursuits. It is changing/improving but the Professional Society of Rappers and Flow Artists (PSRFA) ain’t very accepting. This organization includes the audience (of course). 

Against the oft course.

Some things don’t deserve recognition or functional immortality

Tools that force discontinuity exist everywhere. I will do well to remember that they are a convenience rather than a rule.